November 2014 to December 2016
- “It is the shortest and hauntiest of skirts.” – CLZ
“And it must be fought with the bootiest of shorts.” – 6FG
Fatal Frame 3 - “It’s a rotary phone for demons!”
Year Walk - “I like to think of it as pluck. Pluck and PSYCHOSIS.” – CLZ
The Dark Eye: Chains of Satinav - “I’m done with that hole.”
The Dark Eye: Chains of Satinav - “He is so cute when she’s tied up.”
The Dark Eye: Chains of Satinav - “Over there, you douche cannon!”
Dreamfall Chapters - “Gelfling is a man of her word SMOrc” – Toborprime
Dreamfall Chapters - “That would be metal as fuck if the dog got struck by lightning and exploded.” – AduroSF
Magicka - “Awwwww, it’s terrifying <3”
The Dark Eye: Memoria - “This is what happens when you play against a bot *hur hur hur*” – HybridMagpie
Machinarium - “Whose fucking idea was it to put a hiding mechanic into this game? I don’t wanna play this anymore. I don’t wanna play this anymore! Okay, let’s keep playing.”
Neverending Nightmares - “Sometimes, she’s like a tuning fork. Other times, she’s more like an old TV antenna and we need to prop her up just right.” – CLZ
Grim Fandango Remastered - “It’s not friendly fire, it’s FREEDOM FIRE.” – Avendi
Broforce - “We just turned baby dolphins into canned cute!”
Chaos on Deponia - “Pepper is kind of like coffee.”
Goodbye Deponia - “Hey, you keep your ass down!”
1954 Alcatraz - “Fan-testicles!”
Silence of the Sleep - “YOU’RE DEAD. PRUNES AND A DANISH.” – Zumanzi
Blackwell Epiphany - “So she grabbed her favorite wooden spoo–OH JESUS”
Little Inferno - “If all he grabbed was the toad testicles, I’m gonna cry.”
Dreamfall Chapters - “Why did you fail me, jump button? Why did you fail?”
Ori and the Blind Forest - “I don’t give a shit about your shit.”
Ori and the Blind Forest - “OH MY GOD, quit stabbing me in the ass!”
Ori and the Blind Forest - “Can someone fucking spit at me?”
Ori and the Blind Forest - “I’m fucking Neo up in this bitch.”
Ori and the Blind Forest - “Shooting someone in the middle of the PD building…will likely get us fired.”
Resonance - “I could have done sex. That would have been amazing.”
Words for Evil - “This is a little fucky.”
A New Beginning - “Your ribs are mine, Speedracer!”
One Finger Death Punch - “Yup. Titties.”
- “This shitty shitting shit just got real.”
Dreamfall Chapters - “Am I killing a child right now?”
- “Suck a big, manly sausage dick, physics.”
Dishonored - “I’ve never had to stick my face into this many corners!”
SOMA - “Well, the baby can fuck off and die.”
Armikrog - “Go blow a goat.”
Dead Synchronicity: Tomorrow Comes Today - “I’m gonna slap it and call it Nellie!”
Syberia - “I guess I’ll have to match his wood. HAHAHA, it’s a sex joke!”
Syberia - “WAIT. HOW CAN SHE NOT REACH THAT!? LEAN FORWARD YOU DIRT BURGER.”
Syberia - “Just ‘Sieg Heil’ your ass to the wine glass already.”
Syberia - “Oh my God, temporal…spatial…fuckin’ Jesus.”
Syberia - “Olivia, you vapid bitch!”
Syberia - “Would you fuck a baseball bat in the ass for Mother America?!”
Dead Space 3 - “And then we’ll be fucked in the ass by the baseball bat.” – 6FG
“Well, if it’s for America…” – Ella
Dead Space 3 - “That’s what he does. He purrs, he gets up here, and he eats me.” – Ella
Dead Space 3 - “See?! We’ve got kitties. We’ve got death. We’ve got boobs! This is an AMAZING stream!”
Dead Space 3 - “Save the Gelf Butt! Save the Gelf Patootie!”
Dead Space 3 - “Check your stomps.”
Dead Space 3 - “It sounds like a sick elephant fucking a manatee.”
Dead Space 3 - “I’m gonna stick that shit together with spit and duct tape!”
Dead Space 3 - “This is less ‘Aloha Oy’ and more ‘Good Morning, Vietnam’.”
Dead Space 3 - “I am a fuck-ton of fun.”
Dead Space 3 - “You look good in your red suit!” – Ella
“Yeeeah…I look good *all* the time.” – 6FG
Dead Space 3 - “Who does a girl gotta blow to get an air taxi around here?”
Karmaflow: The Rock Opera Videogame - “This guy looks like Elton John on crack.”
Dead Space 3 - “I’ve had my ass hit by so much shit, I feel like I’m in a porno!”
Dead Space 3 - “It’s absolutely fucking recockulous.”
Beneath A Steel Sky - “One could say I…busted a Nutt!” After causing Captnnuttsack to pop a(nother) staple
Beneath A Steel Sky - “If a point-and-click had a boss fight room, that’s what it would look like.”
Beneath A Steel Sky - “To the windows! To the walls! Till the sweat drips down my Huge Stone Head!”
Morningstar: Descent to Deadrock - “If I can fit in that…I don’t think I can fit in that.”
Morningstar: Descent to Deadrock - “Undo the calamity that is your mammaries.” – Ravnyka
Dead Space 3 - “Did you just blow yourself up? Did you blow yourself up? YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A ROCKET LAUNCHER! You just blew your own ass up!!” – Ella
Dead Space 3 - “I’mma make stuff come out of their stuff.” – Ella
Dead Space 3 - “Chiller is the Comic Sans of horror fonts.”
Creative - “Can you please stop trying to destroy the space-time continuum?”
“No. =3”
Deponia Doomsday - “Give the Gelf a mouse and a screen to click on and she will move the world.” – Zeulus
Shardlight - “I want to go into 420. Aww, drug culture.”
The Stanley Parable - “Hogtie him like a Japanese model!”
Life is Strange - “Do I have to click on his fart bubbles?”
Samorost 2 - “This space taxi is powered by FART BUBBLES. Your argument is invalid.”
Samorost 2 - “Shut your fucking face. Drink some tea.”
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments - “I will stop staring at your crotch when it tells me what I want to know.”
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments - “Dude, you need to cut this lawn. I could shit in here and no one would find it for weeks.” as Toby
Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments - “Screw you, buddy, I got one of your balls!”
The Whispered World - “Ever so gently…gently…fuck you…fuck you…I’m gonna punch YOU right in the face!”
Ampu-Tea - “I can have as much meat as I can handle.”
Darkness Within: In Pursuit of Loath Nolder - “She’s hot? Oh, wait until I light her on fire.”
McPixel - “Am I making out with Santa Claus?”
McPixel - “Don’t look to me to be your savior. I’m on my second beer.” – TimeJumper319
Creative - “Gelf is the Steve Irwin of the Fallout universe. ‘It looks dangerous! I’m gonna poke it with a stick!'” – GhostCubby
Fallout 4 - “Judging by the trail of naked bodies, this is definitely where we left off.”
Fallout 4 - “Let’s go sell the shit out of this shit!”
Fallout 4 - “I’m practically God!”
Fallout 4 - “I don’t wear shoes…I’m a barefoot bitch.”
Sam & Max S02 E02: The Tomb of Sammun-Mak - “Then dig, motherfucker.”
The Dig - “Fuck you, Karin. I’m a manly man that cuts bamboo grass with a knife.”
Tokyo School Life - “Just call me Natasha the Extermina–FUCK!”
Fallout 4 - “I just want your meat.”
Fallout 4 - “Don’t think of it as dying. Think of it as an alternate color experience.” – Wyrdewyn
Fallout 4 - “Dying on the toilet, what a shitty way to go.” (Insert CSI: Miami Theme)
Fallout 4 - (To the tune of I Believe I Can Fly) “I believe I can run, run away from the bad guy’s gun…”
Fallout 4 - “Wander into some radioactive material like it’s a foot spa, sure!”
Fallout 4 - “I have a map. I have a gun. I can do anything. I am a strong, independent woman who don’t need no quest.”
Fallout 4 - “I can’t fit that many in my mouth.”
Fallout 4 - “I’m gonna suck either way.”
Overwatch - “Please don’t zap me, I’m just God.”
Cities: Skyline - “Stop staying at a distance! I want to give you a hug. A hug with bullets.”
Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Director’s Cut - “That’s what you get for being a fuckhead, fuckhead…ya jerk.”
Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Director’s Cut - “Juggalo OKCupid profiles are the most hilarious profiles I’ve ever seen.”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “EEHN EEHN!! Fuck you, I’m a bus!”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “Just go down, dude.”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “It’s not her outward sexuality that bothers me. It’s the impracticability of her pants.”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “I know more about Federal Avionics Regulations than I do about milk teeth.”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “Eat my shiny, fiery dong of justice!”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “I don’t care about forensics! I’m in the goddamned FBI!”
Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut - “Okay, NOW we can go kill the little turdnugget.”
World of Warcraft - Q: “Do you remember the mechanics for this place?”
6FG: “Uh…blow shit up.”
World of Warcraft - Q: “What’s the in flight movie?”
6FG: “https://clips.twitch.tv/sixfootgelfling/FaithfulGrasshopperTheTarFu”
World of Warcraft - “That is one buff-ass fucking vegetable.”
World of Warcraft - “Shut up. Shut up. Just shut up. Just shhhhhhhhh forever.”
World of Warcraft - “I’m ridiculously tired. On a scale of 1 to Dead, I’m Jesus. Wake me up in three days.”
World of Warcraft - “Follow the sultry sound of my ‘go fuck yourself’.”
World of Warcraft - “Stop gargling cocks on Discord.”
World of Warcraft
Well, on behalf of the Council, the Conclave, the Covenant, and the Congress, let it be known from this day forth, in this time and place, that we, the people, believe you completed everything, everywhere, for all time, in perpetuity. So say we all. Chimaera, 11/23/2016
January 2017 and on…
- “IS THAT A JOINT?! Aww, it’s a dime.”
Maniac Mansion - “Slam it down to the underground!”
Creative - “I stopped caring.” – Chimaera
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “We like running over cats with Metro trains.”
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “I will patrol this corridor until the END. OF. TIME.”
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “How have you not had a heart attack, you old lady?” – SisterGelf
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “Tell me about your dead mother, BITCH.” – SisterGelf
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “No. NO! You piece of shit, physics-based, ball.” – SisterGelf
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “Sooo, how about those starving children in Nigeria? *crickets*”
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “We are finishing. The. BALLS.”
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “Eat the Kringle, bitch.” – SisterGelf
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “I have a wedgie so far up my ass, I’m burping lace.” – SisterGelf
“Hey, that’s MY line!” – 6FG
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “So what the shit am I supposed to do with this shit?”
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “She was shitting on it! …er, she was sitting on it!”
Nancy Drew: Shadow at the Water’s Edge - “That is a tiny elevator! There’s enough room for one person without tits or a nose.”
7 Days a Skeptic - “I’m the King of Bitch Mountain!”
Little Nightmares - “Hi! I’m lunch!”
Little Nightmares - “Fucking diagonals, dude!”
Deadly Rooms of Death - “Challenge, tastes like deliciousness.”
Dying: Reborn - “Those knobs are huge.”
Perception - “Do you give me sleek pants? I don’t wear pants. I wear underwear.”
Marvel Heroes Omega - “Dude, she’s practically naked except for those clothes.”
Marvel Heroes Omega - “I’m gonna give it my wood.”
Milkmaid of the Milky Way - “I wonder why it’s giving me the handy gesture.”
Stasis - “American English is like America itself. It’s a beautiful, expansive, inclusive trash fire.” – Chimaera
- “I normally end up high.”
Creative - “What do I do with these drugs?”
Dex - “Oh, it’s just a brain and a spinal cord! That’s cute!”
Dex - “This is very loose.”
roll20 Virtual Tabletop - “My inventory is still full! Dammit! I gotta get the thingy thing with the thing!”
Midboss - “Get your attention back on me, you…Communist.”
Knights of Pen & Paper - “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you, you…vagina-faced flower monster.”
Out There - “Mmm, baby, your synapses just…fire me up.”
Out There - “Lady! Screw me in the ear! …calm down, any time now.”
Out There - “I got a couple cases of the devil’s dick back home.”
The Moment of Silence - “Ah yes, Clockophilia! HA! Haha…”
The Sexy Brutale - “Well, I wouldn’t hit him with a brick.”
Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet - “OMG. That is so much dicks.”
Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet - “Yeah, guys, this is some pretty philosophical stuff right here…now back to Public Enemy.”
Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet - “Okay, guys, let me tell you a secret. I’M HALF DEAF. Fucking audio puzzles.”
The Witness - “Guys, guys! This might be the end! *it was not the end* Cock and balls!”
The Witness - “I’m pretty sure your daughter would be very interested in my baton-handling skills.”
Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Comet - “I’m gonna land with my crotch, how’s that sound?”
Tomb Raider - “Come on! How could I say no to wholesale genocide?”
Tomb Raider - “I am so tired of being fucking shot at.”
Tomb Raider - “Batter up, asshole!”
Tomb Raider - “There are multiple ways to end this game, and yes, I did say cock toast!”
Out There - “Is that a penis?! …yep, that’s a penis.”
Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars - “How did he die? HE ATE A DICK.”
Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars - “I’m gonna put it right back into my pocket while it’s still wet.”
Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars - “Look. At. That. Walk. Yeeeaaaah boooy.! I’d hit that with a couple bricks and a baseball bat. Hells yeah!”
Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars - “Olives are the devil’s butt nuggets!” – Pablo
Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror - “Her boobs jiggled! It’s a point-and-click adventure and her boobs jiggled!”
Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror - “Do you have crabs?”
Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror - “What do you call a snack that’s late? Choco-LATE.”
Broken Sword II: The Smoking Mirror - “You know what I need for traps? Save files. *saves*”
Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon - “It’s like Shrek met Gordon Ramsey to make some sort of bastard child.”
Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon - “OH COME ON! Put your meat into the machine! What’s the worst that can happen?!”
Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon - “I have three modules, two wires, and a WTF IS THAT?!”
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - “It’s an O with a donger.”
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes - “Gelf, you’re so bad at doing you somedays.” – Cubby
We Were Here Too - “I like my coffee like I like my men: ever-present.”
Detroit: Become Human - “I’d deck her in the cooter! Fuck that noise.”
Hope Lake - “*BANG* God. Fucking. Dammit.”
Hope Lake - “No, we don’t do Laser Dick.”
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator - Q: If you were a milkshake, what flavor would you be?
“Fucking Vanilla.”
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator - “ONE WEED PLS”
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator - “Without a comma, that’s like telling her to hold her hippie.”
Broken Sword: The Serpent’s Curse